Is God good even when He says no to our most desperate prayers?
I am a teacher. Some days my kids probably wish that I weren’t because it makes for longer than average explanations, a sometimes over-enthusiasm for learning, and a high standard for homework checks. I probably go over my daily word limit when I feel passionate about a subject and enjoy pulling threads of understanding and faith into any topic.
A few weeks ago, I was teaching an online high school history class. While discussing the empires of Assyria and Babylon, I dove into a discussion about the goodness of God. Through the pages of Scripture describing this time period, we see a cruel and unforgiving world where cities are pillaged, nations destroyed, people slaughtered, and people starving. By the end of class, my pulse quickened, and I resisted the urge to stand to my feet as I implored them to view all of life through the lens of the goodness of God.
“If we don’t come to these events with a foundational belief that God is good, we can quickly lose our footing theologically. If God is good, then even the worst events in history, from the destruction of Jerusalem to the Holocaust, to childhood cancer and human trafficking, can be seen as pieces of a puzzle that God is ultimately working together for good. Suppose we don’t fundamentally believe that He is good. In that case, we have no basis for how to interpret a God that can allow such atrocities.”
Days after my resounding commentary on the goodness of God, I walked through a tough week of hardship, sickness, and death in our circle of friends. A dear friend died of Covid. A pastor and mentor died after a painful and abrupt battle with cancer. Another friend, a husband, pastor, and father of four lay in the ICU fighting for his life. It felt like the next wave of sadness crashed before I had a chance to come up for air.
It is moments like these that our faith, what we put our hope in, whether that is God or something, is tested. Pain and suffering can shine a light into the deepest parts of our soul, where we learn if the faith we claim to have can handle the harsh realities of a fallen world.
Grief and concern piled on top of the painful reality of being an ocean away and the weariness of a year of lockdowns and restrictions. The heaviness pressed on me like a dark, wet blanket. Even in the darkness, however, I had a bedrock of truth forged years ago supporting me.
If you know me, you probably know how much I love my grandparents. They have been pillars in my life. In 2001, during my sophomore year in college, my parents called and said to come home. My Pa-paw was dying. I drove the nine hours home from Ohio the next morning with sadness, silence, and troubling anticipation as my constant companions.
When the time came to say our final goodbye, my dad gathered the family in a circle stretching beyond the waiting room to the elevator doors. His prayer at that moment stands as a cornerstone of my faith. He prayed the words of Daniel 3:17 (which was spoken by three Hebrew teenagers as they stood up to an emperor in the face of certain death):
“If it be so, our God who we serve is able to deliver us from this and to raise Pa-paw up and heal him. But if not…” his voice cracked with emotion. “But if not, O God, we will still love you and serve you. We know that You are good. You are faithful to us even now.”
My dad’s faith came to life for me that day. It wasn’t just a faith that he talked about or hoped would be there one day. It wasn’t a list of rules and regulations or obligations of service. His faith wasn’t in a church building or a religious system. His faith – my faith – stood up to even the most difficult circumstances because it was based on a fundamental trust in the goodness of God. God wasn’t a vending machine from whom we could demand a particular response. To trust in a God that answers our every demand is to trust in a being subject to our own whims and desires. And to trust in a God that isn’t fundamentally good is terrifying.
A peace washed through my heart standing in that circle. It seared my faith with an understanding that no matter what I saw around me, I could trust in a God who was good and had good plans for me and those I loved.
I’ve had a few “But if not” moments in my own life since then. I’ve stood at cliffs of uncertainty where He was asking me to jump and trust that He would catch me. In those moments, I have had to decide if He really would. Each time I have stood with more confidence than the last that my hope in Christ is real and sustaining. It is what I have when I’ve sat in a puddle with the pieces of my shattered life surrounding me. It is the confidence I can have that He will make all things new one day, even if the answer is not today. One day every sickness will be healed. Poverty and crime will be eradicated. Whether He chooses to answer my prayers on this day or that day, I can trust that He is a loving, good, and kind God. He doesn’t orchestrate evil in the world, but in His kindness, He uses it to draw me closer to Him.
PS – I am in the midst of a 30-day writing challenge. You may see a few more emails from me than normal, but know it is just temporary and I promise not to bombard your inbox forever!
Excellent. He will deliver us from the pain either instantly by a miracle, or he will carry us through that pain to the other side, or he will use the pain to place us eternally into his arms. Great truths here. (And never resist standing on your desk in front of students to drive the point home! )
Excellent, love you, Dad