My dad always dreamed of being an astronaut.    Growing up we watched movies like The Right Stuff and Space Camp (ok…not educational at all, but a classic of the early 90’s).  While space fascinates me as well, I enjoy experiencing it through pictures, planetarium, telescopes and documentaries while my feet are planted firmly on good old planet Earth.  As a college student, I was captivated to hear Louie Giglio often talk about space in messages like Indescribable.  Last year my girls and I studied Astronomy and I found the information awe-inspiring.  And…don’t even get me started on how much I geeked-out over the solar eclipse.  I cannot imagine how anyone can look at the planets, stars and galaxies and think that they were all orchestrated by chance.

Then this morning, after a 20 year journey, NASA crashed its spacecraft Cassini into Saturn.  As I listened to the news story, my mind recalled a  familiar verse:

“The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handiwork.”

The images Cassini has sent back over the past 13 years are incredible.  They are just a sliver of the beauty and majesty that God has created and put on display to show off His creativity and splendor.

We’ve had a long week here at the Monroe’s.  Chad’s been in the field, which always increases the load on us at home, but it has just been a tough emotional week as well.  Our Brigade lost a soldier in training this week.  Hurts, heartaches, physical tiredness and emotional weariness have snaked their way through our days.    I’ve laid my head on my pillow many nights and longed to be more patient and kind rather than short and demanding.

Then this morning, as I looked over the beautiful pictures of Saturn, I read these words in Isaiah 40:

“Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who hath created these things, that bringeth out their host by number: he calleth them all by names by the greatness of his might, for that he is strong in power; not one faith.    Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.   He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.   Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:  But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

Dear friend, the same God that spoke the rings of Saturn into existence, made you and knows your frame.  He doesn’t grow weary.  When we are at our worst and weakest, He is strong.  When we don’t think we have the strength for another day or another trial, He gives us strength – His strength.  He doesn’t get tired!!  Oh what a relief to my soul that truth is.  His power stretches beyond the infinite reaches of the universe and He offers it to you and to me – to give us wind beneath our tired wings.

Because it’s that exactly where we find His strength – in our darkest and most desperate moments.  In the moment when we surrender our striving and trying only to fall into the net of His perfect strength.  Paul said it best in II Corinthians 12:9:

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Are you weary?  Take moment when the house is quiet and slip outside.  Look up at the stars in imagine the Creator that knows them each by name.  Billions and billions of stars and He knows everyone, and He knows you.  He sees your struggle.  He knows your heart.  A simple, yet powerful truth that I pray will bring you encouragement today:

“Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary?”

“He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.”

Have a great weekend!  Come back Monday for Missionary Monday!

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Illusion of Perfection

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who their words burn an impression on your mind? Maybe he or she was trying to make an impression, but maybe not?  Maybe the words were just and after thought or an off the cuff comment, yet they forever changed the way your perceived an area of your life?

When we were living in West Point, NY, a fellow homeschooling mom said, “All of my plates were spinning just fine…then we had our fourth and all the plates came crashing down.”  She joked that maybe it was just the high-spirited nature of the fourth kid, but that she had been wading through the mess of broken plates ever since.  Not that things were terrible or even unhappy, but that life as she knew it before, would never be the same again.

At the time, I had just had our third and number four was not even in the realm of possibility.  Fast forward two years and her comment goes through my head almost daily.  I feel the exact same way.  All my plates were spinning pretty good and then – wham – they all came crashing down 17 months ago.  Poor fourth kids, right?  No, it’s not the child – lots of other things change and added to the to do list.  I went from teaching one kid phonics and 1+1, coupled with the easiest, most content toddler ever and a husband that was in grad school two and a half days a week with no other job responsibilities, to two kids in school (one with an ever-growing work-load and swiftly approaching the teenage years and all that go with that), one in preschool,  a little boy who already has one ER visit under his belt is showing me what it means to have a “climber” and a schedule that has my husband at work far more than he is at home. My plates are a mess of broken pieces.

Humans in general, but moms especially, are susceptible to the comparison trap.  This is not a new revelation.  We look at other moms and often think one of two thoughts: either “wow, she has it all together” or “yikes, she looks like she could use some help.”  At least for me, there is often no middle ground.  I think one of those two things.  What’s crazy is that while I’m guessing that door number two (she could use some help) is more frequently the more appropriate response, I almost exclusively look at people and assume door number one.  If I’m at the park with a friend, I tend to assume that her house looks like a Pottery Barn magazine cover, her healthy dinner is prepared, all her baby books are complete and organized on the shelf, and all of her laundry is neatly put away.  Ok, I seriously do have one friend that all of those things are 100% true and accurate, but for the rest of us mere mortals, why do I assume that others moms have everything together and that I am the only one struggling to keep my head above water?

Do I think that our lives should look like a train wreck every day?  Absolutely not.  Scripture presents a picture of a God that brings order and beauty and as believers, our lives should reflect Him.  We should make plans and schedules and white space and whatever else we need to do to create beauty and harmony in our homes and in our families (I Cor. 14:40, II Thes. 4:11-12).  But we moms have got to get off the crazy train.

The Illusion of Perfection has to plague more women than just me.  Authentic, real, genuine, honest – these are all buzz words in Christian circles today. Real life and spiritual maturity happens within the context of relationships.  Relationships that foster spiritual maturity are impossible without honesty.  Do we have to air our dirty laundry with everyone, certainly not.  Do we answer every “How are you today?” with “Well, actually…” Probably not.

Sometimes being honest just means not letting other perceive something about you that isn’t true.  Any volunteers? Ok, so, I’ll start.

People frequently tell me, “I don’t know how you manage everything!”  Maybe they mean all the children, maybe the homeschooling, the writing, or all of the above.  Some weeks we are in the grove and wanna whip out my spreadsheets (literally…I have lots of spreadsheets) and say, “Well, this is actually how I do it.”

Other weeks, many weeks, like this week, I want to cup their face in my hands and gently (or not so gently) say, “I’m not.  I’m not managing everything.  We are all still alive, but rest assured, there are cracks in the ship and I’m just bailing water.”  I’ve yelled at my kids and my husband, my laundry has been sitting on my floor all week (if you know me, well you understand the turmoil this causes me…), and every time I’ve made a meal I’ve had to piece it together because I either ran out of time or I forgot to buy half the ingredients.  Addison started a new online co-op this week and my mistakes left her unprepared for every class.  It’s nothing earth-shattering, but I’ve spent my week putting out small fires and while my to do list piles up.  I’m supposed to be writing a book and weeks like this I struggle to find time to piece together a paragraph.

If you are not a planner or naturally organized, you may look at people like me and think I have it all together.  What you don’t see is that sometimes my perfectly organized spreadsheets are more like a game of Jenga – if one piece falls, the whole schedule crumbles.  When I build no white space in our calendar and then a practice runs late or the kids eat slower than the time allotted or someone just wants me to do A when the schedule says it’s time for B, then all cars on the train start colliding and things unravel quickly.

I look at “fun” moms and long to be carefree and exciting.  I’m the exact opposite of spontaneous.  My kids get confused when we don’t eat what is on the schedule for breakfast.  I can’t imagine what it would be like to feed my kids red dye and not wonder if they are going to get cancer from it one day or give them a donut and not be fearful of diabetes (hear me – I honestly wish I could not think that).  I wish I could throw the schedule out the window some days and play board games all day or have a movie day.

So, what’s my point in throwing all this out on your screen? First, I just don’t ever want to be a stumbling block to anyone.  If I’m going to have this blog and try to be obedient to the Lord in reaching people with the written word, I want it to come from a place of honesty and brokenness with no pretense that I have it all together.   Second, I know I’m not the only person that struggles with wondering how all the other moms have it together except me.

Ladies (and gents…every though I’m not sure that any of you stuck with me this far), our only hope is Jesus.  I pray that I say that in every post that I write.  He is our only source of hope and true renewal.  I think we also need to be able to look in the face of other moms and be real.  We need believers we can walk arm and arm with in this life.  We will have seasons in friendships when we are the source of encouragement for others and we will have seasons when we need others to pour into us a little more.

Let’s drop the façade.  None of us have it all together.  I won’t assume you don’t and please, please don’t assume I do.

Romans 12 is a beautiful picture of how God has made us each unique to come together to form the Body of Christ and be His hands and feet to this world.  Fun moms – I need you in my kids’ lives so that they know they can have cereal even though the schedule says oatmeal.  I need people to encourage them and build them up on days that I’ve held them to too high a standard.  Then, I’ll be here for you to show you the power of a spreadsheet and a meal plan.

Let’s start genuine conversations in this social media perceived perfection world that we live in.  You can start now – share your mom stories of triumph and failures in the comments!

I grew up going to church.  Correction, I grew up living at church.  Honestly, we probably could have changed our address to 587 Landers Drive.  Anytime the doors were open, we were there (normally always running a little late) and we were most certainly always the last ones to leave.  To this day, it is still a little weird to simply get up and walk out of church after final amen.

Our children’s church probably more closely resembled a course at a local Bible college than children’s church.  No crafts.  No games.  Just a few some cappella songs (Crayon Box song anyone…?), memory verses (For the Word of God is quick and powerful…), and then a sermon.  Between Sunday school, children’s church, “big” church, Awana, youth rallies, youth camps, and discipleship classes, I heard thousands of sermons growing up.  I went to Christian school and a Christian college.  In college, I went to chapel five morning a week and earned a minor in Bible.

With all of this training and knowledge, I should have had a firm grasp on the basics of the Christian faith, right?  I had a lot of knowledge and I even did the right things.  I checked all the boxes; however, head knowledge does not always transfer to heart knowledge.  Despite being given the clear Word of God, I somehow grew up missing a huge piece of the puzzle.  I knew the gospel – the forgiveness of sin through Christ’s work on the cross.  Yet for some reason, I thought after salvation, it was kind of up to me.  I had my list of rules to follow and that if I could keep them, God would be pleased.  This led to perfectionism – the pressure to be perfect in all areas of life.

Sitting in Bible study during my junior year at Cedarville, my Bible study leader pressed me on this issue.  I feebly explained that if I kept all my plates spinning – did everything right – then I would be happy and successful in my Christian life.  I can clearly hear her words to me that day:

“And how’s that working out for you?”

Tears flowed down my cheeks.  I had never had anyone confront me like that.  The truth was, I knew it wasn’t working.  Inwardly, I was drowning in my striving to achieve an impossible standard.  I knew all the right things, but I continued to walk in my own power and strength to try to live the Christian life out of sheer will and determination.

Fast forward five years to 2008.  We were living in Clarksville, Tennessee and were walking through our first deployment. Addison was just over a year old and, at the time, attending small group alone each week felt hard.  My introverted nature takes a while to feel comfortable in a group and some nights I spent all my time making sure Addison didn’t tear their house apart.  One night, our small group leader went around the circle asking what we took away from the sermon on Sunday, which was about the cross.  The Holy Spirit flipped a switch in my heart that night, revealing a truth that would shape me for the rest of my life.

“My whole life I’ve grown up thinking that the cross was just about salvation, however this week I’ve seen that it is so much more.  The cross is our source of power every day because Christ not only took our penalty for sin on the cross, but he took our guilt and our shame.  Through the cross and the resurrection, Christ conquered death and gave us the power to live in freedom.  The cross shows us the love of God like nothing else could.  It shows us a love that we could never earn or deserve.  The cross is our hope.”

 

Dear friends, the message of the cross – the hope of the gospel – is Christ in us, the hope of glory (Col. 1:27).  The cross bears the messages that Christ died for our sins and invites us to accept his gift of salvation, but the good news doesn’t end there!

In Romans 7, Paul tells us that we still wrestle with our flesh.  We live in a fallen world and deal with the painful consequences of our sin and the sin of those around us, but Romans 8 breaks forth in glorious light and hope:

“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.  For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.”

The hope of the cross brings no condemnation!!  What a sweet relief!!  Jesus went to great lengths to not only free us from the penalty of sin, but from the guilt and shame of it as well!  For years I walked in the assurance of Christ’s power over the penalty of my sin – I knew I was going to heaven.  I knew He loved me, but oh what peace it brought to my heart when I realized that I did not have to carry around the fear and shame of my sin.  I could shed my false sense of security I felt through perfectionism.  God loved me and did not condemn me.

Maybe this sounds “churchy.”  Maybe it doesn’t sound like something relevant to you or your situation, but look what I Peter 2:24 says:

“Who his own self bare our sin in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins should live unto righteousness; by whose stripes ye were healed.”

The life brings more hurt and heartache than we can bear at times, but we are not left to drown in our sorrow.   The cross brings the only hope of healing.

 

My favorite song right now is Let There Be Light (Hillsong).  It’s worth a listen!

I heard it for the first time in church a few Sundays ago.  I’m glad our church is pretty dark during worship, because I had a full-blown ugly cry.  I couldn’t sing.  I just cried out to the Lord from the depth of my soul as the words washed over me:

Good news embracing the poor

Comfort for all those who mourn

For the broken-hearted

We sing louder

Release from prison and shame

Oppression turning to praise

For every captive

Sing louder

Restoring sight to the blind

Breaking the curse of the night

For all in darkness

Sing louder

Proclaiming freedom for all

This is the day of the Lord

Beauty for ashes

Let there be light

Open the eyes of the blind

Purify our hearts in Your fire

Breathe in us we pray

Let there be light

Open our eyes to Your heart

Desperate just to know who You are

Shine in us we pray

Jesus have Your way

 

Friends, Satan is the father of lies.  He wants to keep us in bondage and fear to our sin.  He wants to cripple our walk and keep us from living the abundant life Christ has promised.  For many of us, he is winning the battle.  The fear and shame of our sin has paralyzed us.  But dear ones, the light of the gospel is our hope!  Light is the only thing powerful enough to dispels darkness.  Shining the truth of the Word on the lies of Satan is the only way to defeat his hold on our hearts.

Father, I pray that your truth would be seen, that your light would dispel darkness in our hearts.  I pray that we would know You – to know your hope and power that you give to those who have accepted your Son.  You are our good news.  You are our hope.  I pray that you would “break the curse of the night” in hearts.  Show your glory through us.  Take the pile of ashes in our lives and turn them to beautiful masterpieces of your glory.